From time to time, I go back and reread my blog posts. It’s always amazing to look back and see what I was thinking. This time around though, something I read sparked a question in my mind. Not long ago I did a post called “I care, but I can’t”, which talked about the lesson I learned about trying to save the world, when that isn’t my assignment. In the post, I said:

“The harsh reality is that you don’t get extra credit for doing things God didn’t lead you to do.”

Although I knew it was harsh when I initially typed it, it was so harsh that it caused me to second guess the validity of the statement. After all, it wasn’t quoted from scripture, but it just seems to me, that a reward is not in order for someone who did something extra, especially depending on the attitude of one’s heart while it was being done. (After all, God told Saul, obedience is better than sacrifice). However, the scripture that came to me as an answer to this question was Hebrews 11:6, particularly the second clause.

“…he must believe that He is, and that he is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.”

The key words in this verse are rewarder and diligently. Diligence refers to conscientiousness when doing a task. Then, in the Greek, it happens to be synonymous with the word seek, which translates to investigate or search out.

Rewarder on the other hand, is a person who gives something in return for service, merit or hardship. (I could talk about a reward for enduring hardship in another post…)

So Here’s why “I can’t”.

From these definitions, I’ve learned that God rewards those who investigate a matter and search Him out. To me, that means that my reward is based on what I do with the findings of my investigation. While I am worshipping and praying, I should be asking God what my role is in every situation of life that I find myself in. For instance, If I am to water the soil of a soul at my job, I will do just that and stop when God says so. If I’m just supposed to plant a seed in the homeless man’s life, that’s where it ends and I can expect to see a return on that deed.

By all mean, when your job is done, leave gracefully. Don’t just “cut people off” and try not to burn bridges. But you must be honest and set and KEEP your boundaries. We can’t just be doing good deeds without any directions from God; it’s way too dangerous. The reality is, if you weren’t instructed to do it, there is a chance you could do more harm than good. And worse case scenario, you could possibly undo the work you did do.

So, with this in mind, let’s be careful to acknowledge God in all our ways, because He promises to then direct our paths.

Be mindful; but do good, for the Kingdom.

Kiana

That was the question my principal asked the students as we ended our chapel service. As I heard the students answering, I thought to myself, “I don’t even know what I would say if I were given a chance to speak.” Of course, I know the “right” answer; Christmas is about the birth of Jesus, gathering with family, giving gifts, being happy, thankful, etc. But that’s only what I know about Christmas based on what I’ve heard or been told; that’s not what it means to ME.

You see, although my family has celebrated Christmas as long as I’ve been alive, the only thing that seemed to be consistent was being a part of the Christmas play at church. Of course, I got to open gifts and usually got exactly what I wanted, there were no traditions or special activities associated with the day itself. So for me, as I got older and no longer had the anticipation of opening gifts or being in a play, Christmas wasn’t that special. It sounds unfortunate, but it is true.

I’m sure the passing of my grandmother and father put a damper on things for my mom and I, but we never stopped to realize how it affected us. So now, I go home for Christmas, not really looking forward to anything special that only happens around Christmas. I’m always grateful for time I can spend with my mom but that tends to be the extent of the expectancy, so to speak.

While beginning a tradition sounds like an ideal “remedy”, it’s kind of strange to start one while there are still elders around, having to get them to participate, instead of the other way around. If nothing else, I’ll be thinking about what Christmas means to me, all the way up to the day, and I’m hoping I’ll have figured something out by then.

Peace and Blessings,

Kiana

So then neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but God who causes the growth. Now he who plants and he who waters are one; but each will receive his own reward according to his own labor. 1 Corinthians 3:7-8

There was a time (very recently), when I tried to do it ALL. That’s right, I tried to plant, water and I was taking credit for the growth, if any. My intentions were good, but I had missed a key principle to life: I had not realized that I hadn’t identified my role, therefore, I didn’t know to stop when I had fulfilled it. I got caught up in the fact that it seemed like no one else was working, so I figured I’d pick up the slack, but it was way too much for one person. I found  myself depleted and mad with God. He let me sulk in my frustration just long enough for me to discover the issue. I was upset because what I thought was God’s assignment for me, destroyed me. But I now realize that I took on more than what was on my job description and the harsh reality is, you don’t get extra credit for things God didn’t lead you to do. After all, Obedience is better than sacrifice.

The Savior Complex

It took me a while but I finally had to admit that I had it. My desire to help had reached the end of the spectrum where it literally hurt me to not help someone I saw struggling. I couldn’t think of any valid reason to not help a person until helping hurt me. It was rough, but God allowed me to invest in a few situations/people that didn’t have the same goal I had in mind. And that’s the thing about over helping, you tend to develop this expected outcome from your own perspective, without considering that the receiver may not be hoping for the same thing. And in many cases, the receiver doesn’t have a plan.

So many scriptures have come to life for me while learning this lesson, including “Do not to cast your pearls to swine.” My idea of swine was so narrow that I actually missed the stench of it when it was before me. I lost a lot of pearls along this recent journey but I have finally realized the value of my pearls. And that’s where the title of this post ties in.

I care, but I can’t.

I can no longer do more than what is being required of me (by God). People can place expectations knowingly and unknowingly and you have to know for yourself what you’re instructed to give in that moment. I’ve realized that just because I have it, doesn’t mean I have to give it. It’s possible that someone else is assigned to care or provide or it may just be a job for God. I had to learn not to intervene between the Shepard and His sheep.

It’s okay and even good to empathize with others as they go through their struggles and trials of life, but you have to know and stick to the role you play in it, if any. Either you plant or water, but ultimately God brings the increase. Never find yourself taking the credit or even being glorified by the one you help. God enables us to do what we do, therefore all credit is due to Him!

Sometimes in the midst of lending a hand we can’t see what the outsiders see, and it’s important to consider the wise counsel of others. (Hopefully, you have someone whose judgment you can trust.) So if they think you might be getting too involved, consider it and reflect, but most of all, Obey God!

For the Kingdom,

Kiana

I remember in school, there was almost always one student who would shout out answers without raising their hand. Sometimes they’d actually be right, but other times they were wrong and my teacher would say “Look at you, loud and wrong!”. We used to laugh at that student, assuming they were embarrassed for having had so much confidence, only to be wrong. But in actuality, they were in the perfect place to be wrong. The questions asked by the teacher were meant to gauge our understanding, therefore that student’s wrong answer let the teacher know she might need to go back and reteach the skill. That was the best time for the student to attempt to answer the question because it was at that moment that he could receive the help he needed, in order to master the skill being taught.

Spiritually, instead of being like that student who called out without raising his hand, sometimes we are the student who doesn’t really get it but says nothing. We struggle silently, then get to the test and bomb it because we never asked for help. Turns out though, God would rather for us to be loud and wrong.

“For we do not have a high priest who can not sympathize with our weaknesses but one who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin. Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in the time of need.” -Hebrews 4:15-16 NASB

In order to become a teacher, the teacher first had to be a student and learn. Most likely, their academic journey wasn’t easy nor perfect. At some point, they probably gave the wrong answer or didn’t understand what they were learning. They’ve “walked a mile” in student shoes before. Jesus is our teacher, but before he was promoted to that, he had to walk out this life. He had the opportunity to experience all that we would ever face. He is well versed on trial and temptation; He gets it. Since we know He understands,  it should be easier for us to go to Him and ask for help. He has the answer to every problem and test. Not only that, but He has taken all the tests and passed them!

So why loud and wrong?

The thing is, God doesn’t expect us to have it all together or even know it all. In fact, the whole idea is for us to depend on him completely. Because God knows about the temptation and trials we face daily, He’s already calculated that we would mess up, that’s why He went ahead and covered our sins by Jesus’s crucifixion. Knowing the provision that has been made already, we should come to him boldly or with confidence and without shame. Don’t be ashamed that you’re battling something you thought you were delivered from, don’t be ashamed that you fell after you told God you were done, don’t even be ashamed that it took you so long to come to Him.  J U S T  C O M E. The throne of grace is not for your perfect moments. It’s especially designed for your moments of weakness; when you need help.

The student didn’t know he was wrong until the teacher brought it to his attention. He would have never known if he had kept his mouth closed. You should know that the throne of grace is a safe place for you. Get the help you need and be confident about it.When you do or say something that ends up being wrong, don’t hang your head. Go to your Father and say something like: “I thought this was okay, but I realize it was wrong. I repent God, help me. Show me what I need to do so that I can pass this test.”

Father’s day is this  Sunday June 19th, however on Sunday June 12th, I got a message from God about my father. My father passed in 2009, a week after my high school graduation. We were extremely close, so needless to say, I was devastated. While he was alive, my father had answered the call to ministry and he had been going through the process to become a pastor. Life happened and he was unable to complete the work God had put on his heart. After talking with my friend about it, we concluded that my father hit a glass ceiling because of some requirements of the religious organization he was apart of, which discouraged him and ultimately hindered his ability to fulfill his purpose. So in service on Sunday, God began to lay on my heart how he has been positioning and equipping me to continue my father’s legacy.

I felt that God was telling me to pick up where my father left off. Obviously God has endowed me with a unique set of gifts, but since there is no male nor female in Christ, I believe my inheritance and birthright is the mantle my father once carried. I am commissioned to continue the work and it is a privilege.  We learned about the 7 blessings of passover at my church and one of them was Divine Birthright. Initially, I didn’t think it applied to me because I thought it had to do with the first male child. Since I’m an only child I still wasn’t sure how it worked. Additionally, since my father had passed so long ago, I wasn’t really sure what there was for me to inherit spiritually.

I will admit, God had to change my mind about generational callings. I had heard and seen so many people feel pressured into ministry because of the family legacy, that I had doubted that the calling of God was passed generationally. I still don’t believe that God wants us to feel obligated to do things in His name. He wants us to desire to do it out of our love for Him. You can’t make the exception the rule, so although some people were reluctant to follow in their father’s footsteps, I’ve realized that God indeed moves generationally. Lineage was a big deal in the Bible. Now that I have this understanding, I can better receive what God had been wanting to give me all along.

It is so cool to be about my Father’s business in relation to my earthly father. It’s touching to have a lasting memory of him, remembering his love for God and people. Instead of buying a gift for my father on Father’s day, God gave me a gift in the form of a reminder that I carry my father’s legacy of service and ministry.

From my experience as a school teacher,  there’s always a student or two who is always causing trouble during class. Sometimes that student is actually one of the smartest in the class. What happens is they finish their work quickly and find a way to entertain themselves. Unfortunately they’re usually found being distracting and bothering other students. I’ve learned to always be prepared with a little extra because you have to keep those students busy.

It appears that some local assemblies have reached a place where there are not enough assignments being handed out. There’s only room for those who have already been ordained or those who can do service related duties on Sunday morning. Sunday morning service can be very powerful and life changing but when too much energy is put into the mechanics of it, it loses its substance and focus. If what’s going on INSIDE the church is the biggest focus, we’ve already placed ourselves in a bad position concerning our work on the great commission. I would like to submit that the saints have become like the students in the opening paragraph: BORED.

There are many parts to this dilemma and I will try to discuss them all briefly.

1. Teaching

The sermons we hear seem to be getting further away from the simple message of the Gospel of Jesus. We have so much to say about what God has promised us, where we’re going in life and everything else that seems to benefit us or what everyone is doing wrong without providing solutions. We don’t spend enough time discussing the benefits of a relationship with God, how to serve our community by walking in the supernatural authority of Christ and other matters of the Spirit. We’re not challenged to live better because we don’t recognize or aren’t made aware  of the mandate outside of the church.

2. Assignments

Nowadays assignments are considered to be preaching engagements or leadership positions over church ministries. Of course, those tasks are reserved for a select group of people. The clerical offices are revered, however there is something for all to do, title or not. Or if we acknowledge a person or environment in our life as an assignment, we complain about the difficulty of it and want out before the person/ people even receive what you were there to deposit. A more inclusive Christian lifestyle would commission all who are saved to go out and witness to who ever they encounter.

3. Misuse/Misunderstanding of Spiritual tools

The day of Pentecost was the day when the Holy Spirit filled the disciples and empowered them to go out and spread the Gospel. He gave them strength to endure the persecution they would face while telling people about Jesus and working miracles in places where it was not accepted. We are not properly using the tools given to us by God. Heavenly Tongues is evidence of the baptism of the Holy Spirit but we rarely use Holy Spirit for his guidance and instruction. The truth is, our assignment is to exemplify God every place we go and to the people we encounter. We should get to a place where our very presence changes people and draws them closer to Jesus, much like the healing in Peter’s shadow.

4. Responsibility and Accountability

It is debatable whether or not giving a responsibility to a person will keep them accountable to the character they should have. But from a different perspective, it seems that the bored saints are living below standard because of their perceived insignificance. If we realized the impact that could be made by us being led by the Spirit in all we do, perhaps we would have more of a hunger and desire to be more like God. But because evil gets more attention than good works, conforming to Christ is a much slower and less sought after process. It is indeed our sole purpose in life. Responsibility does bring pressure but with the strength of God, you can endure and be successful. We ought not shy away from the high calling because of what it costs us. We are instructed to deny ourselves, pick up the cross and follow Jesus.

It makes no sense for us to continue to disregard the fact that there is a harvest that is ready to be gathered as if we have something more important to do. The assembly of the saints should be a refilling station, but can only operate as that after the saints have gone and poured out what they were given. No need to fill a tank that is already full. It’s time that we stop wasting our gas driving around the gas station parking lot and use our gas for something more rewarding throughout our city.

If you find yourself bored, just think about ways that you can display the fruits of the spirit in all areas of your life. It’s sounds simple but it is the mission and God will be glorified as you continue to reflect more of his attributes.