To Be Continued…

Happy New Year Kingdom Konversationalists!

I almost let January get by without posting a new entry, but then I thought about how it would feel to see the previous months listed in archives, and for January to be missing. I don’t like gaps, having to start over, or anything like that. As weird as it may seem, that was my motivation for posting today.

I know most people are posting New year goals and encouragement around this time, but I’ve found that life is about continuing even when it feels like you’re starting over. No shade to people who choose a new year as the time to begin a new habit or get rid of an old one. I just think that maybe we’d feel more accomplished if we framed it as continuing rather than starting over. Just think about it, people who are on a diet, have a cheat day, and the next day they continue. They don’t consider it an end to their diet or regimen because they did something different for a day or so. I’m not usually one to look on the bright side of things, but I’m beginning to realize that you’ve got to do whatever it takes to keep yourself motivated, and in most cases, my realism has not motivated me, but has often landed me in defeat. So, I’m trying this new thing of being positive and having a mindset of redemption and resilience rather than finality and failure.

I guess you could say my new year’s resolution is to continue.

A few months ago, I wrote a blog called The refuge of the mind in which I explained that I had allowed my past traumas to dictate what I would allow God to use in me. I had decided that I wouldn’t get close to people anymore because I didn’t want to continue getting hurt and healed over and over. (How prideful is that?) But, along this journey I’ve been humbling myself before God and allowing Him to walk me through life, as difficult as it is in moments.

This morning, as I shared my heart’s concerns with God, I found myself back at that place of vulnerability, in regards to the kind of person He made me, and what’s required of me in life. Long story short, I told Him, it’s lonely out here being who He called me to be. It can get lonely adhering to the boundaries He has in place for your life. It’s lonely when you are made to give so much of yourself and are expected to only be refilled by Him, at times. Thats why most of us don’t; because it’s hard! And although people don’t always treat us perfectly, if we have someone, at least we aren’t alone.

My Pastor said something yesterday that stuck with me and is relevant here. He said,

“Our response to God should not be about what’s good to us, but what’s good for us.”

The things God expects of us may not always feel good to us, but over time, we learn that it is good for us.

Therefore, saying yes to God is less about acknowledging a calling but more about trusting His path to fulfilling it. We can’t take the job and decide how we’re going to do it. There is a job description, duties and responsibilities that he has written for us. That’s the yes I believe God is looking for; our trust in His way.

And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:2 NASB

Trusting God and following Him, is not easy. It will often lead you down a path where you will encounter yourself. You will be challenged to abandon your self-constructed ideas and apprehensions. You won’t be able to move forward with fear; you’ll either pause within the fear or step through it into faith. You won’t know where you’re going at all times, but you’ll know that you’re right where you should be. You’ll be secure, anchored, planted and sure.

This year, I’m taking one day at a time to surrender myself and say yes to God’s way. I understand that some tasks seem so overwhelming and intimidating that we cop out with an “I’ll try” for fear of falling short and disappointing ourselves or others. All we have to do is make a commitment each day, and when we mess up, vow to continue at the next available opportunity.

Say yes for the Kingdom,

Kiana

Check out:

Still Yes by Lamar Simmons + Love & Faith Community Church Choir

The refuge of the mind