I’ve been doing a whole lot of introspection lately. Partially because I observe people a lot and in order to stay away from being judgmental of others, I look within and determine if I have some of those bad habits that I observe. The theme that has been ringing in my spirit for the past few months is intentions.
Why do we do the things we do?
I’m sure the reasons are endless, but my assumption is they boil down to a few root reasons. I’ll discuss one or two here.
We do what we think will make others or happy or pleased with us. (Sometimes, even at the expense of our own happiness.)
Is it a bad thing to put others before ourselves? Conceptually no, but an unhealthy pattern can lead to life lacking true fulfillment with unclear personal desires, and dishonesty.
How often have you not told the truth because you didn’t want to upset the person you were speaking with? We want to stay on good terms with the people we care about and are in relationship with, sometimes so much so that we avoid conflict.
What does this boil down to?
F E A R
Fear of losing the friend. Fear of hurting their feelings. Fear of what they’ll think of you. Fear of losing a once in a lifetime opportunity.
The list goes on. But the more we operate this way, the more we become accustomed to living for the approval of others and acceptance without the satisfaction of doing what we feel is true to our essence.
Take the Bible story of Ananias and Sapphira for example. It can be found in Acts 4:32-5:11
Basically, they sold their land and the proceeds were supposed to go to the church community offering, but they lied to the leaders about how much they got from it so that they could keep some for themselves.
Perhaps they were in need of something and wanted to use what they got to take care of it.
Maybe they wanted some spending money and figured they’d just hold on to it.
The thing is it’s not necessary to lie in community. That’s family, and they would rather you be honest with them than try to save face and be regarded in a certain way.
The need for acceptance is real!
However, we should never get to the point of having to be dishonest in order to maintain our position in someone’s life. What’s the remedy you might ask? Knowing who accepted you first and will always accept you regardless of the details.
For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out “Abba! Father!”
There’s no need to be afraid of belonging because God has already called you His own. If you live in that truth, you won’t have to fear losing friends and family because you will always have Him. Don’t get me wrong, it won’t leave you alone in life either, but God will lead you to have genuine relationships with people who understand the value of honesty and reciprocity.
I encourage you to be in touch with your core desires and intentions. Be honest with yourself and the people around you.
For the Kingdom,