Almost a Diary Entry: Who am I?

While I prepare to give the disclaimer that as the title suggests, this will be sort of like a diary entry, I realize that I’ve been sharing some pretty personal things on here lately anyway. I’m a pretty private person generally, but the truth is, depending on who it is and the situation in which I’m sharing information, I actually don’t mind, if I see value in my vulnerability in that moment.

So yea, this is almost a diary entry. Perhaps it’ll be a series of sorts, who knows?

So, I’m super into relationships, marriage, people, growth, emotional intelligence, etc. And the going topic of advice for single adulthood seems to be finding out who you are and what you like. Part of me feels like those things change with age and experience, so as I pondered who I am, what I like, and what makes me who I am, I kind of got stuck. First, I realized, most of my time was not spent doing the things that I think I like, so I wondered, well what does THAT fact say about me. The fact that I devote more time to miscellaneous obligations than I do to things I enjoy…

Then one day, the other day actually, I realized what I enjoy the most is conversing. Well I can’t say I just realized this, I guess I just remembered. (I mean CLEARLY this blog is called Kingdom KONVERSATIONS with Kiana…)But, I REALLY like discussions. But see, I’m picky. Because I like to have discussions, but I like to discuss things with people who have fresh ideas or even opposing ideas with a solid basis. (Maybe I should find a debate club.) But the issue I’ve found with this preference is that everyone I talk to doesn’t meet that criteria. So if I really want to talk, I press through the conversation, or I suppress the desire so as not to be disappointed. I think this is part of the reason, that I tend to gravitate toward men. Because girl intellectuals are out there, but in my experience, are few and far between.

Anywho, at my core, I have realized that I am a deep thinker. I find the depth in everything. I like to explore anything. I ask a TON of questions about well… everything. My interest is wide spread because I just like to think about almost everything I’m presented with. I like to figure out why or what if. I’m just down right curious. I’m a wonderer.

Wonderer: one who thinks or speculates curiously

Those parts of me lead me to read, think, talk, and listen. That’s who I am and that’s what I do.

I love music and for a long time I thought THAT was the biggest part of me. But it isn’t and I think I’m finally okay with that.  I can still do it and even be good at it. But it’s not my claim to fame, and once again, I’m okay with it.

My mind is what drives me. What goes on in there is what wakes me up everyday.  It’s what gets me through the day. My curiosity of the world around me.

So yea, thanks for reading something like my diary entry. I didn’t mind sharing that because, I really hope people are able to embrace their core, even if they think it’s boring or annoying to others. I think, the second person responsible for making you feel loved is you, God being first. (We can debate about parents being second later.) And once you embrace the real you, you’ll attract someone who will love and appreciate you as well.

Know yourself, then be yourself.

For the kingdom,

Kiana