God just showed me how quickly character can be destroyed.
We just had an amazing Bible Study that ended with an intimate moment of worship. I’m known for getting lost in worship at the drop of a dime and it definitely happened tonight. Usually after those moments I’m a bit vulnerable and sensitive. When Bible Study was over, I had to take a friend home but I couldn’t find him. When I finally found him, he said he had forgotten that he had to ride with me, so he apologized. I said no problem, I was about to leave but then I saw his stuff in the car. So as we walk toward the car he apologized again and I said “Just stop! Drop it.” This attitude came out of no where and the hallway is silent. The car ride was very tense. Then I realized, it was my fault. So i ask him if he’s ok and then he reveals he was offended by how I shut down his apology in the hallway. My explanation was that after I have a moment with God I tend to be sensitive and I just didn’t need him to continue to apologize. I said I didn’t know why I responded so strongly but I’m working on it.
First, I cannot blame my rude remark on my sensitivity from a worship experience. If anything that should be the moment I express love in its purest form. Love is what I should be exuding after a moment like that. I think we get caught up in deep stuff and miss the simplicity of situations. No matter how deep you go in worship, you’re still human and you’re going to mess up. Don’t blame that on the holy spirit though because he did not prompt you to be rude or to ignore someone. He is the helper and he helps us make good choices even when we are vulnerable. We just have to be aware of the practical use of His voice and direction.
I told this story to say that we can talk and counsel people all day but we must be accountable for all moments. Your voice of reason could be discredited because of the way you responded to someone in “the heat of the moment”. Granted, you won’t always choose the right words or react perfectly for the given situation, however it’s important to clean up our mess and not put it on God when we misjudge. At the end of the day we don’t want to lose our credibility as ambassadors for Christ. It can happen so fast but it takes a while to recover if it is not handled correctly.