As stated before, when considering marriage or even relationships/dating one should know their purpose. Once you know your purpose you will be able to decline relationship offers from people who don’t fit your life path. Many people disagree with the idea of getting married young because their understanding is that once you get married you will have to forfeit your life dreams to do what your spouse wants, which usually is geared toward having children. Getting married should not hinder you from pursuing your dreams and life goals, especially if you feel that those things are what you were put on earth to do. Your mate should be a compliment to who you are and be of support to you in your endeavors no matter what moment in time of life you meet.
Another important thing to consider when discussing the future with a perspective spouse is that you should know and express an ideal timeline of events, such as how soon you would like to have kids or some goals you would like to have met before you are ready to have kids. It is vital to first know what you desire is in that aspect, then to make that clear to your significant other. Don’t be so focused on trying to make a relationship work that you let your own wishes go unheard because it will be a problem when your counterpart makes their requests known and they don’t coincide with what you desire to do. Both parties need to say their piece and the couple should be able to come to an agreement. If a definite agreement is not made, a person should be strong enough to walk away from something they aren’t totally comfortable doing in order to avoid manipulation.
It is important to know and be confident in who you are so that you don’t find yourself wrapped up in someone else’s life. If they are sure of what their future is but you aren’t, they will quickly give you a supporting role in their life and that will be all you know and do. That’s modern day bondage because the day they decide they don’t need you and you are no longer an asset to them, they will leave you and you will find yourself without purpose because you lived to be apart of their life.
Dating is a very popular topic, especially in the Christian community because of the wide variety of views on the subject. This post’s purpose is not to compare the views, however it seeks to present an approach that glorifies God.
First, let’s establish the posture of one who desires to be married. It is important that one is whole ( Refined by God, having dealt with emotional past, committed to the things of God and has found contentment in God). Whole does not mean perfect in any way but it means that one is allowing God to complete the good work He had begun in them (which He will continue to complete until the day of Christ’s return.) It is also important that they know what their purpose is and are working toward fulfilling it in the Kingdom of God.
Now, if one is committed to the things of God and is serving in their area of purpose, that requires a level of focus which weeds out other idle activities and thoughts. This is not to say that one will not ponder the idea of marriage, however making personal decisions about who they will marry and when is no longer a concern because they’ve submitted those things to God’s timing and will for their life. </p
Song of Solomon 3:5 "I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem, By the gazelles or by the does of the field, Do not stir up nor awaken love until it pleases." Simply put don't do it until you're ready and in the right position for the commitment of marriage. It is difficult because many other influences provoke you to pursue your human desires to have companionship and share love with someone special, which are natural and not wrong. The key is to acknowledge the season you are in and conduct yourself accordingly. Consider this passage: 1 Corinthians 7:32-35 "But I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord- how He may please the Lord. But he who is married cares about the things of the world- how he may please his wife. There is a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of this world- how she may please her husband. And this I say for your own profit, not that I may put a leash on you, but for what is proper, and that you may serve the Lord without distraction."
Remaining single until you are lead to prepare for marriage is for our benefit so that we aren't distracted by the emotions and feelings that ultimately leads us to engage in illegitimate married couple's behaviors. (Sleep overs, joint finances, and other obligations which we are not ready to commit to full time.) Giving ourselves to God through serving Him will allow us to see ourselves bare before Him and be aware of the things we need to focus on in order to be ready for our marriage season.
It is not up to us to decide when our single season has ended. We should be lead by Holy Spirit in this step. This will occur in different ways for male and female and even from person to person. However, in your intimacy with God things will be made clear.